No no you dirty minded readers. I'm talking about bad luck. Walking under a ladder kind of bad luck. Breaking a mirror bad luck. Opening an umbrella inside kind of bad luck. Salt spilling on the table kind of bad luck. Seeing an owl in the daylight kind of bad luck. Stepping on a crack breaking your mama's back bad luck. Your first kiss on Friday the 13th bad luck. Killing a sparrow bad luck. Yes, killing a sparrow. The bad luck I have had today couldn't have been more rile.
Alarm clock goes off 25 minutes late. How does that even happen?Shower rod falls off the fall. Leaving me vunerable, cold and exposed. With my dog staring at me at the door.
Shampoo gets in my eyes and I go to work bloodshot.
Was asked if I had been drinking by a colleague. I replied, ' no, I got shampoo in my eyes'.Realized my skinny jeans are still in the washer. Wet.
Got all the way down my driveway and realized I forgot to shut the garage door.
Turned around and found my dog sitting in my yard. She got out the doggy door. Then she got out the gate. Because I forgot to lock the gate. Again.
My dog decided to play chase at 7 o'clock in the morning. I'm already late for work. Wearing leggins and heels.
While chasing my dog I hear a snap. Shit. My brastrap just broke.
Driving to work I noticed my gages were going crazy. Shit. Really?
I dropped my delicious sweet tea. Inside my truck. All over my floor board.
I locked my keys in my truck arriving at school.
I just switched my insurance to where I cancelled Roadside Assistance.
I forgot it was one of my student's birthday today. I never forget. Never.
The copier got a paper jam as I was printing out tomorrow's lesson.
Then it jammed again after I fixed it the first time.
I never got that lesson finished.
The basketball team was late to practice. Then pulled out of practice for tutoring. Noone e-mailed me... or coach Mendoza.
Our first game is in two weeks. And they all need tutoring.
Three of my student's sneezed on me today. Three.
My ex boyfriend got married yesterday. Not that it bothers me. I'm happy for him.
I forgot to take my kids to music today because I was too busy fixing the copy machine.
I had a headache from the hills of terror.
I had cramps that would make a woman in labor jealous.
I was pumping gas when three guys jumped in the back of my truck asking for work. " we work we work". I thought that was the end of me.
I walked in my house to find my flip flops, headband and lipgloss eatin.
I had the hiccups that lasted an hour. Who does that happen to?? Me, of course.
My dryer lint tray spit out all the lint while I was at work. It was as if washer and dryer were having a party.
My doorbell rang and by the time I got downstairs and answer the door, they were gone. Who waits one minute for someone to answer the door? Doesn't anyone have patience anymore?
I watched a horrible, terrible no good spoof of Twilight called "Vampires Suck". It sucked.
So, suck it. Bad luck. You mean vengeance machine.
Cupcakes don't suck.
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