Four Stars for You

I watched you brush beauty on your face as the vanity light struck gold in your eyes.

I curled my hair and stained my cheeks pink while you tentriled shades of red hair.

With you, time passed swiftly, unforgivingly. I wasn't ready.

Concocted liquids filled my veins as we laughed and swept our cheeks against the ones we love. I was enveloped with perfumed laced skin and glittery eyelids.

Red potion danced into glasses and you, well you sat next to me and crossed your legs while shadowed figures blinded me with flashes of light simply capturing time with you in a moment.

With you, time passed swiftly, unforgivingly. I wasn't ready.

Flash after flash. You smile a smile I haven't seen in awhile.

You laugh a laugh I haven't heard in awhile.

Next thing I know it's you, me and the moon- and four little stars that shined above us. Just four. I counted them.

Two wishes for you. Two wishes for me all to what seemed like wasted wishes for you... and for me.

Words of no wisdom which usually leaks from your lips spoke. Thoughts of me felt like daggards in my soul. Not my heart. My soul.

I felt like a wasted companion. As if I could never change. As if I was making you miserable.

Then you solicit a question to me. My answer was only to be taken to my grave so that in the Heavens... it would no longer be.

He raised his voice and denied my truth. Not looking into the eyes of the one he loves but instead dialated glares of how dare you and how could you and... I told you never to tell. My mind is now free. I drowned in this secret. No air this time.

Or else.

Your hands hovered your teary cheeks. Tracks of pink and black free fall down to your broken heart. I touch your hand and you pull away as if I am diseased with deceit. My voice failed me as I struggled for answers. My fingers intertwined not able to put you back together. Truth lies under the reason I didn't speak the truth. A truth you might not ever believe. You won't believe. You won't want to believe.

Six years ago,

Tiny hands grasp my index finger as we walk together. Little toes wiggle as I paint them pretty. Snow globes shaken and tiny bodies tucked in tightly. Voices in the background singing. Little voices. Love from my girls, intertwined and overrun. Sing me to sleep and rock me good morning say lovies as the sun retires and awakens. Stick figures on my wall and cinnamon sugar across my floor lets me know that two love bugs have infested my soul with love and light. Scraped up knees and ouchies made me smile because..... I could fix them. Tiny lips on my cheeks and many attempts to count my freckles enlightened me.

Like love enlightens you.

This is the reason I wanted to die with this secret. Or else I would never see them again. Isn't that Right?

I listened as your voice reached high octives. Your hands flailing and your cries had become weeping. You let me hold your hand. I needed you to breathe. Thoughts of how you felt about me still stinging.

I removed myself from your side and when I returned.. you were gone. I kissed your girls goodbye and told them that I loved them. A dramatic exit from their sight. They didn't know. I gave them my unwrapped gum. I closed your front door as they jumped on the couch, carefree and lovely.

The street was black and the four stars that I counted were gone. Did you take them with you? Four wishes for you.

Vinegar- One ingredient I shall never use in my cupcakes. Then again, one less ingredient makes for one good cupcake.