I think I'll have the pink one...no.... yellow...no..........blue....wait............pink, I'll have the pink one.
We didn't choose to be born , but when we were, we suddenly became decision makers. There is a great power in being able to make choices in life. However, should we live to make choices? Or choose to live one day at a time? I'm constantly faced with decisions. Sometimes I make the right choice and sometimes I make the wrong choice. The extreme thing about making the wrong choice is facing the consequences that follow. Some people (like myself) forget to think things through. Is it ok to make the wrong choice in life? Sure. How else would we learn life's lessons. How are we humbled by making only the right choices? Making a decision is tough, mind altering, tragic, exciting and risky. It's like skydiving, as your plummiting to earth, all these life changing thoughts are scuttling through your head, and in the end, it can be good or bad. Either way, it was life changing and you learned from it. Learing is something that noone can take away from you. It humbles you, it teaches you and it free's you.
Can one decision make you or break you? For sure. But can you always turn from it, make up for it or change your mind? Not all the time. However, you can realize, understand, gain knowledge and strength from it. Changes do come with consequences, but without the committment to change our lives and all the consequences that go with that decision, the change will not take place. Don't settle for whats good, strive for whats best and whats best for you. Cease the opportunity for determination. It's never too late to be happy. It's never too late to make a decision for a better life. It's never too late to live a more fulfilling life. See your choice as a change, not destruction. Change can be scary but can settle your soul. Strap on your "life change" seatbelt and hold on. It's gonna be a wild ride. But DO NOT keep your hands inside the vehicle, for everything the light touches is yours.
Choose the fast lane, and buckle your cupcakes.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
your sugar spilt.
" I loved you then, and I love you now."
My sweet.
I can no longer hold your fire. Tick tock goes ten years- then you
rewound time for me. You lingered in my senses. Love waits for me in another season.
I predicted a lifetime of you- two years a lifetime. My future a lifetime. You, a lifetime.
When we were young,
You smelt like sunshine's dust when you swung me under the moon.
You tasted like shooting stars which shine from the heavens- The same stars give me light.
You felt like a wave which, unforgivingly crashes against the oceans rock.
You-Crashing in to me.
With my breath to you I say- Loving you was something sweet. Satisfied my soul.
But loving you now is ...........
Words can't explain. I can't explain.
What is your verdict?
Until then...
Goodnight my friend. Goodbye my love.
No cupcake tonight.. until you come back with one.
My sweet.
I can no longer hold your fire. Tick tock goes ten years- then you
rewound time for me. You lingered in my senses. Love waits for me in another season.
I predicted a lifetime of you- two years a lifetime. My future a lifetime. You, a lifetime.
When we were young,
You smelt like sunshine's dust when you swung me under the moon.
You tasted like shooting stars which shine from the heavens- The same stars give me light.
You felt like a wave which, unforgivingly crashes against the oceans rock.
You-Crashing in to me.
With my breath to you I say- Loving you was something sweet. Satisfied my soul.
But loving you now is ...........
Words can't explain. I can't explain.
What is your verdict?
Until then...
Goodnight my friend. Goodbye my love.
No cupcake tonight.. until you come back with one.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Gently Mended
Hair of gold ringlets.
She hears the words every woman fears.. "We've found a lump". Her heart beats with jagged patterns as she allows the words to descend into her world. Her.... beautiful world. She holds on to her trepidation while blushing her cheeks with courage and dressing herself in strength. Time favors her valor as she loves.
She awakens in the early hours only to be the laughing stock of needles and machines. She thinks to herself "these pins and needles have won"- perhaps forgetting for a moment that God was by her side, holding in His mercyful hand the lump that had not yet been removed. A quick drip and a few deep breaths later, she sleeps.
What happened during the hours of operation, I'll never know. However, I would like to believe that it was God who gently took her apart, and so lovingly put her back together, restored and renewed. She is mended with the breath of God and His promise.
You, my friend, I admire. Your strength and courage outshined your fears- even when you couldn't show it.
-You inspire me.
Now, let us celebrate with cupcakes- frosted by God. :)
She hears the words every woman fears.. "We've found a lump". Her heart beats with jagged patterns as she allows the words to descend into her world. Her.... beautiful world. She holds on to her trepidation while blushing her cheeks with courage and dressing herself in strength. Time favors her valor as she loves.
She awakens in the early hours only to be the laughing stock of needles and machines. She thinks to herself "these pins and needles have won"- perhaps forgetting for a moment that God was by her side, holding in His mercyful hand the lump that had not yet been removed. A quick drip and a few deep breaths later, she sleeps.
What happened during the hours of operation, I'll never know. However, I would like to believe that it was God who gently took her apart, and so lovingly put her back together, restored and renewed. She is mended with the breath of God and His promise.
You, my friend, I admire. Your strength and courage outshined your fears- even when you couldn't show it.
-You inspire me.
Now, let us celebrate with cupcakes- frosted by God. :)
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
She rained on me
It's so quiet out here. I see greens and yellows. I smell the season of color. I hear the peace in the wind. I stand still for a moment.....
"Megan, wake up. We're here. This is where I grew up". I opened my eyes and looked out my window to see myself bordered by trees so old and wise. I can hear the rocks shuffleing around from the gravel road under us. I adjusted my eyes to see a blur of people ahead of us. Strangers who will eventually be introduced as family. We parked crooked under a tree. I stepped out the car and collided with the wind. It smelt sweet.
Conversations echoed through the breezes. I walked through a crowd of people I've never known. I studied their faces, looking for someone who looked like me. "Noone looks like me here, noone had my eyes, my nose or my smile..noone looks like my father". I felt a hand touch my shoulder- it was a light touch, kind of fragile. I turn around to see a woman, with hair as white as snow with eyes as blue as a turquoise night. Her wrinkles represented wisdom and her smile looked like.....my fathers. She went on to tell me that she was the cousin of my grandfather. I saw a small resemblence of him in her facial expressions. Her name was Maude. "Like the color?", I asked. She covered her ruby lips as she laughed, as if it was the polite thing to do. Maybe that was etiquette when she was growing up. She nudged my hand and replied " yes but, I'm much more colorful". I covered my not so ruby lips..and giggled.
We walked in the cemetary where known and unknown family lay. I mentioned how I only knew two people buried here. She took me to where some of her family was buried. She stood silent for a moment, like she was remembering something. I read the words on the headstone that she was so humbly glaring at- " Not here on earth but forever in our hearts, Mother of Maude and Sid Thompson". Sid, her brother, who lay next to his mother. I didn't know this woman but I felt like I wanted to. The breeze carried her scent over to me. She smelled like vintage.
I let my eyes graze across the cemetary watching people search for their loved ones. I'm in awe at the fact that these are family members that I have never met, coming to pay respects to family members I have never known of. I watch as people stand at headstones wiping away any debree or dirt that earth has brought upon it....wiping tears from their cheeks. It began to rain a little. Everyone hoverd under their sweaters and ran to the nearest shelter. I happened to be standing under a large aged tree. It had swirls of branches and big acorns falling from it. I was safe from the rain.
The cemetary became desolate after living souls escaped from the unforgiving element that fell from above. There I stood- the rain by my side, generations of family and a grandmother I never knew beneath me. Her headstone reading "Beloved Mother of Robert Thompson"... my father. " Your father was young when she died- you better get out of this rain now, it's gonna get bad". I turned to see my grandfather, huntched over under his jacket, the rain soaking him. "I wonder what she would have thought of me" I said as I was talking over the noisy raindrops, squinting my eyes trying to look through the strikes of water pouring down on us. My grandfather stared at me for a moment, then looked at the sky.. "she would have loved ya kid, now lets go". He turned and made his way back to shelter, stepping carefully over puddles of mud and water. I couldn't just abandon these restful souls. It was raining on them. Flowers from people who loved them were being blown away and there was nothing they could do about it. The tree that kept me dry had forsaken me. I was soaked.. but I stood there, paying my respect to people I never knew, but people that I loved. I love anyone who shares my blood.
I felt the heat of the sun on my skin. The rain had seized and it was peaceful again. I had a new perspective of the dead. I respected the stillness and the love that was once shared among every soul whose heart pittered pattered to the beat of life. "What happens here when the sun sets?"
I brushed my grandmothers headstone with my fingertips. I walked away feeling as still as them.
If I die young, bury me in satin,
lay me down on a bed of roses.
sink me in the river, at dawn
send me away with the words of a love song.
Surround my headstone with cupcakes.... and know I'm somewhere sweet.
"Megan, wake up. We're here. This is where I grew up". I opened my eyes and looked out my window to see myself bordered by trees so old and wise. I can hear the rocks shuffleing around from the gravel road under us. I adjusted my eyes to see a blur of people ahead of us. Strangers who will eventually be introduced as family. We parked crooked under a tree. I stepped out the car and collided with the wind. It smelt sweet.
Conversations echoed through the breezes. I walked through a crowd of people I've never known. I studied their faces, looking for someone who looked like me. "Noone looks like me here, noone had my eyes, my nose or my smile..noone looks like my father". I felt a hand touch my shoulder- it was a light touch, kind of fragile. I turn around to see a woman, with hair as white as snow with eyes as blue as a turquoise night. Her wrinkles represented wisdom and her smile looked like.....my fathers. She went on to tell me that she was the cousin of my grandfather. I saw a small resemblence of him in her facial expressions. Her name was Maude. "Like the color?", I asked. She covered her ruby lips as she laughed, as if it was the polite thing to do. Maybe that was etiquette when she was growing up. She nudged my hand and replied " yes but, I'm much more colorful". I covered my not so ruby lips..and giggled.
We walked in the cemetary where known and unknown family lay. I mentioned how I only knew two people buried here. She took me to where some of her family was buried. She stood silent for a moment, like she was remembering something. I read the words on the headstone that she was so humbly glaring at- " Not here on earth but forever in our hearts, Mother of Maude and Sid Thompson". Sid, her brother, who lay next to his mother. I didn't know this woman but I felt like I wanted to. The breeze carried her scent over to me. She smelled like vintage.
I let my eyes graze across the cemetary watching people search for their loved ones. I'm in awe at the fact that these are family members that I have never met, coming to pay respects to family members I have never known of. I watch as people stand at headstones wiping away any debree or dirt that earth has brought upon it....wiping tears from their cheeks. It began to rain a little. Everyone hoverd under their sweaters and ran to the nearest shelter. I happened to be standing under a large aged tree. It had swirls of branches and big acorns falling from it. I was safe from the rain.
The cemetary became desolate after living souls escaped from the unforgiving element that fell from above. There I stood- the rain by my side, generations of family and a grandmother I never knew beneath me. Her headstone reading "Beloved Mother of Robert Thompson"... my father. " Your father was young when she died- you better get out of this rain now, it's gonna get bad". I turned to see my grandfather, huntched over under his jacket, the rain soaking him. "I wonder what she would have thought of me" I said as I was talking over the noisy raindrops, squinting my eyes trying to look through the strikes of water pouring down on us. My grandfather stared at me for a moment, then looked at the sky.. "she would have loved ya kid, now lets go". He turned and made his way back to shelter, stepping carefully over puddles of mud and water. I couldn't just abandon these restful souls. It was raining on them. Flowers from people who loved them were being blown away and there was nothing they could do about it. The tree that kept me dry had forsaken me. I was soaked.. but I stood there, paying my respect to people I never knew, but people that I loved. I love anyone who shares my blood.
I felt the heat of the sun on my skin. The rain had seized and it was peaceful again. I had a new perspective of the dead. I respected the stillness and the love that was once shared among every soul whose heart pittered pattered to the beat of life. "What happens here when the sun sets?"
I brushed my grandmothers headstone with my fingertips. I walked away feeling as still as them.
If I die young, bury me in satin,
lay me down on a bed of roses.
sink me in the river, at dawn
send me away with the words of a love song.
Surround my headstone with cupcakes.... and know I'm somewhere sweet.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Sara Bareilles "Gravity"
The one thing I still know is that your..keeping me........
eat a cupcake... and sing
Sunday, October 3, 2010
construction ahead..
How do you turn this thing on? Anybody there? .. hello? I took a wrong turn. My compass broke. I think I'm lost again.
We all make bad choices in life. I don't know anyone who leads themselves down the strait and narrow without curiosity of where that shiny mysterious path might lead. We all take them and we all find our ways back. Or.. do we? Oh how we love the enticing path. I never find what I want there. Getting to the strait and narrow is tough. There is no GPS when trying to find this road. But if you have to clear your path to get there, then do it... but, do it gently and try not to use words, for you hope they will be behind you to meet you at the end. Life goes on...way on. It's time to do me for a while. Find myself again. I'm lost.. with no compass. I see mirrors that reflect my mistakes and they are beginning to shatter before my eyes. Finally. I have come to a road that challenges me to walk it alone, fresh faces and new opportunities at every corner. Faith being my GPS.
Hmm, this road looks familiar.. look at all my footprints.. I took a lot of wrong turns. Goodness.
I better get a cupcake for the road.
We all make bad choices in life. I don't know anyone who leads themselves down the strait and narrow without curiosity of where that shiny mysterious path might lead. We all take them and we all find our ways back. Or.. do we? Oh how we love the enticing path. I never find what I want there. Getting to the strait and narrow is tough. There is no GPS when trying to find this road. But if you have to clear your path to get there, then do it... but, do it gently and try not to use words, for you hope they will be behind you to meet you at the end. Life goes on...way on. It's time to do me for a while. Find myself again. I'm lost.. with no compass. I see mirrors that reflect my mistakes and they are beginning to shatter before my eyes. Finally. I have come to a road that challenges me to walk it alone, fresh faces and new opportunities at every corner. Faith being my GPS.
Hmm, this road looks familiar.. look at all my footprints.. I took a lot of wrong turns. Goodness.
I better get a cupcake for the road.
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