Green Gumdrops

It was a windy day  in Texas today.  The kind of wind that kiss my cheeks, painting them a rosy residue.  The kind of wind that gently curls the little wisps of hair that refuse to fit into my ponytail.  The kind of wind that passes through my olfactory neurons and swirled up in my cerebrum generously giving me the sweet smell of mint.  I don't smell the  mint often, so when I do, it takes me to a time in my childhood that will forever bring joy to my soul. 
      I was seven years old when I visited my great grandmas house in Ohio.  A small town named after a Revoluntionary War hero.  When I say a small town, I mean one bank, a couple of schools, a grocery store and this little restaruant called Pauls Dine In.  Pauls was one of my favorite places to eat.  They had this sausage cheese burger that made glutony an understatement. 
   My great grandmas name was Golda.  Her hair was a vintage cut, curly like wind blown ivory lillies.  Freckles covered her shoulders, as if someone sprinkled brown sugar on them.  Lips a ruby stain.  She was my grandmothers mother.   
     She lived in a tiny house with a crickity screen door that she would leave open so she could hear me play outside.  I could never get that screen door to shut.  She had this special trick to close it.  The furniture in her house was little.  A little couch.  Two little chairs.  One little TV.  The kitchen table that once sat in her dining room now sits in my mothers house, neatly polished.  She had an old fashioned phone, cream colored that hung on the wall in the dining room.  You know, the kind where you had to put your finger in that little spinner thing and spin each number?  Yeah, that kind.  She had a big back yard, filled with flowers of every color and smell.  Sometimes I would find her planting in her garden, lost in flowery lyrics-her head draped in a red sun hat.   
    There are many memories I have of my great grandmother.  However, one just really seems to stick out the most.
    It was a warm summer morning when I awoke in the back bedroom of her house.  A queen sized rod iron bed that caved in at the middle bid me good morrow as I pulled myself to sit up.  My New Kids on the Block pajamas were wrinkled  from the late night tossing and turning, not too mention they were getting a little too small.  I don't remember going to sleep in that bed.  I must have snuck in during the night.  I remember being scared of going to bed alone in that back bedroom.  I had a little twin size bed that I was tucked into every night but I was haunted by the dark closet with no door.  My mind would play tricks on my eyes and I would sneak in the back bedroom where my grandmother slept.  There was something about snuggling next to Sandra Ann that made everything scary disappear.  Her perfume was my lullaby.
      I planted my feet onto the cold old-fashioned hardwood floors.  I stretched and admired the sun light that was shining in on me.  I breathed in the sweetness that settled in that house.  I could hear faint conversations in the kitchen and dishes being clanked together.  I could smell coffee brewing and the morning paper was being read as the comics were being shuffled around.  I walked down the long hallway and brushed my fingertips over the picture frames of old family members I never knew. 
    A picture of my mother hung slanted.  I loved how I looked like her. 
    I made my way into the livingroom and saw my neighborhood friends playing on their kick and go's outside.  If your not familiar with a kick and go, it's a little scooter with a pump on the back of it.  That is how you built speed.  My kick and go was in the basement.  Scary basement.  Where the washing machine rumbled and shook and where the coat hanger looked like a person looming in the shadows.  My grandma must have heard me shuffling around because she shouted out a " good morning sugar".  I made my way into the kitchen anticipating my morning hugs and kisses.  My greatgrandmother would hold me and rock me to a silly song. 
    I remember going into her kitchen when a minty aroma embraced me.  I loved it.  I didn't know where it was coming from.  It was so fresh, so spicy so... so.. MINTY!!!  My curiosity spilled the beans that I was on the hunt for something sweet.  My grandma opened her cabinet and pulled out a bag of green gumdrops-minty.  They were these little green chewy candies showered with sparkly sugar and awesomeness.  They made her house smell like a minty wonderland.  They became my favorite thing to eat when I would visit.  Perhaps it's because it triggered memories of that morning.  I wanted each visit to be the same.  I sure loved that house.  I sure loved them. 
 I sure do love when the wind blows just right- because I think of something beautiful.

I Wish I Could

Dear angry parent,

 I can't part the rolling tides of the ocean.
                             I wish I could.
I can't hang the moon slightly more to the left.
                                I wish I could.
I can't tell the sun to chill out.
                                I wish I could.
I can't give each star that shines a name.
                                I wish I could.
I can't find the end of a rainbow
                               I wish I could.
I can't make the wind speak each time it blows.
                                I wish I could.
I can't spin planet earth on my finger tips to pass the time, when time gets tough.
                                  I wish I could
I can't make the rain wash your sorrows away.
                                 I wish I could.
I can't drive into the sunset.. literally.
                                 I wish I could.
I can't find the cow that jumped over the moon.
                                I wish I could.
I can't see through rose colored glasses.
                               I wish I could
I can't make the sound of silence .. be silent.
                               I wish I could.
I can't help not to giggle when you lie so bad you start to shake.
                              I wish I could.
I can teach and I can love.
But I can't change the world.

                                I wish I could.


The truth and a cupcake will set you free :)

And the World Turned

He was her almost lover.

 

Girl stood on the rocks with the water at her feet
the sun on her skin and a tear on her cheek
With her hand on her chest and the wind in her hair
Underneath her breath like a beggar's prayer ..

she said

I miss you, come back to me
I wish you'd come back to me

But nobody heard
And the world turned and the world turned and the world turned

And thats when the girl reached in her pocket
pulled out a silver heart-shaped locket
Opened it up and stared for a while at her faded boy
with a lazy smile

I miss you, come back to me
I wish you'd come back to me

But nobody heard
And the world turned and the world turned and the world turned

 she tossed the locket
In the cool, blue, water

That night in her bed, she let herself weep
She let herself cry herself to sleep
And there in a dream somewhere in the night
Saw the boy and the locket by the riverside, saying

I miss you, come back to me
I wish you'd come back to me

But nobody heard
And the world turned and the world turned and the world turned

- Gabe Dixon Band

Howl at the Moon

  Except.... there was no moon.

   I have finally potty trained my dog.  After one year, three hundred potty pads and four bottles of carpet cleaners, I have my dog on a scheduled bathroom routine.  First walk begins at 6:00am.  It took me a whole year to fight the temptations of my snuggly bed to get my lazy ass up and walk my dog before work.  Even my dog would rather settle for the potty pad instead of having to stretch her way from the warm abiss of my comfortor.  This is the time she chooses to take the longest to do her business.  She gets so distracted by smells and different noises.  Right when she is about to assume the potty position, a leaf will fall from a tree or a bird will chirp and there she goes chasing after it. Ugh.
  
   The day had finished and it was about 7:45pm.  The sun had just finished bestowing it's pink and purple colors on the rolling hills of where I live.  I took my dog to the usual spot where she likes to roam and run free.  After being in the house all day, I imagine wanting to do the same thing.  It was dark.  I stood there, in my snuggly PJ's and flip flops in hopes of a successful potty routine but instead I found myself frozen, unable to move and fearing for... my dogs life. 

 Usually my dog isn't quiet during our walks or potty breaks.  She likes to dig, scratch at the grass and yelp with joy. I happened to have my eyes fixed on this woman who was smoking three cigarettes at one time on her patio.  I wasn't paying attention to my dog because I was in total shock of how this woman was relieving her stress.  Three cigs? Really?  I snapped out of my disgust when I realized I couldn't hear my dog.  I turned to see her sitting at the bottom of the hill, sitting up strait, ears up and tail wagging.  She was faintly growling and slightly wining.  I thought maybe she had seen a rabbit or some kind of bug until my eyes adjusted to the darkness. I felt my heart drop to my toes.  Sweat flooded my hands.  There stood a black coyote.  Its tail was low and it had slowly lowered its body in the pounce position.  I could see the green in its eyes from the reflections. It wasn't looking at me.  It was looking at my dog.

  All my energy had left my body.  I had no voice to call for my dog.  Snippets of scenarios played through my head like a slideshow.  The coyote was concentrating on my dog, carefully studying her.  I could hear it begin to growl.  Usually my dog will see another dog or animal and make a run for it.  She is super friendly and loves attention.  She has no idea what fear is.  I was waiting for her to jump at it as if she wanted to let it know she wanted to play.  Her tail was still wagging.  However, she wasn't moving.  She wouldn't move.  I softly snapped my fingers in hopes to get her attention.  She wouldn't look at me.  They were playing the staring game.  It was almost as if my dog was saying " I dare you" to this hideous creature lurking in the bushes.

 I jingled her leash lightly and it seemed to get her attention.  She looked at me and then stood up.  Then the coyote stood up.  I knew this was it.  It was either going to be my dog, or me.  I stood there in total shock thinking of ways to get rid of this coyote.  I thought about all the shows I have seen about suriving wild animal attacks- pfft yeah, all that went out the window real fast.  Once fear sinks in to your blood, it pretty much takes over.  I was alone out there.  If I screamed, I would only scare it and then we would both be dinner.  All I could do was watch.  I was begging God to get this animal away from us. 

 There was a wrestling in the bushes a few minutes after the stare down.  I thought it was a pack of them, coming to finish us.  Thankfully, it was a small dear coming out for a little salt lick.  My dog saw the deer and made a run for it.  The only thing I could do was scream NO, NO.   I immediately looked over at the coyote and it was gone.  The deer must have scared it away.  Either that or it was coming for the deer later for ruining a perfect dinner.  I ran over to my dog, scooped her up and took her inside.  A phone call to my mother and few glasses of wine later I was feeling better.  What seemed like an hour was only about two minutes.  Fear has no time. I do believe I had my angels there with me that night.  I We were protected and I'm thankful.  Some people aren't so lucky.

Since then, we have found a safe place for us to run wild and free.  I also carry a really big, sharpened stick.  Will I know what to do with it if we are face to face with a wild animal again? Probable not.  You never know.
Words of wisdom- never let a person smoking three cigarettes at one time distract you from a seriously dangerous situation!!!

Out of the Mouths of Babes II

think each week I will post some of my favorite blurbs my students say to me.  Each day I throw myself back and laugh at some of the things that come out of their mouths.  I have one student who just floors me everytime.  I told him that he was going to be responsible for my best seller book of all the funny things he says to me.  He replied, " and I shall be your number one book buyer". 

Enjoy.
" It sure does smell good in here.  I think it's our teacher, always smelling like a cotton candy stand at a candy carnival"
" I watch Fox News, that's how I know it's winter"
" Why does my dad always curse at the gas pump?"
" So, since we are learning about dinosaurs, does that mean your our prey?"
" When I grow up, I want to be one of those people who always show their butt crack".
" I'm the only one in my family that snores.  I think its because I'm black".
" Shhhhh guys, the reason why Miss T is standing there like that with a T-Rex face is because we are wasting her time".
" Miss T, why do you sound like you have plugs up your nose? Are you sick? When my mom is sick, she says she's invisible and we can't see her".
" Not lacing again.  This really creates havoc on my joints"
" Yes!! I love creating patterns.  Miss T, your freckles make patterns"
"My dad ate my ice cream cone yesterday.  He told me it was poisonous".
"Whoa, dinosaur eggs are so big. Thats like... a year of scrambled eggs every morning".
" I need some hand scantipizer"
" Mom was right, I shouldn't have eatin that chili last night".
"When's lunch"
" Are we having spanish again today? If so, can you tell the teacher NOT to speak in tongues this time?"
" I think I just heard someone say shit.  My dad says shit is a grown up word.  Shit, I said it again".
" A dinosaur is a domestic animal in my eyes.  I can take of one. Duh"
" um, is this real meat?"

More to come. Out of the Mouths of Babes. Gotta cherish this.

Dear Rick Perry

Governor Perry,

    I am a teacher for a school located in the heart of Austin Texas.  Before you disregard this letter, I would like to send my appreciations for taking time to review my issue.  Fortunately, I have not been cut or laid off.  However, many of my colleagues have been or are about to be.  Please read this respectfully and with dignity.
   
   I am under the impression that you are convinced that education is the most important investment a state can make in its people.  Am I correct when I say that your goal is to ensure that Texas institutions of higher education are providing students the best chance at a better life?  What about when you mentioned the importance of focusing on the core themes of accountability, affordability, and accessibility?  I believed that you were for higher education and encouraging educators in preparing our learners for entry into our booming state economy.  We took your sugar coated words and took our passions into the classroom with a promise that teachers would be safe from the chopping block.  I fear that you are not understanding the uncomfortable impact you are putting on Texas educators.  What you are failing to realize, is that our students are the ones in danger.  No teachers.... no education.  
   
      Along with many educators, I am concerned with the sudden budget cuts and losses in our districts.  There are great educators walking on eggshells to keep their jobs as leaders of our great future leaders.  Teachers are being laid off due to low budgets and not enough money.  As teachers and as a community of educators, we want to believe that our institutions money is being used in a responsible manner by our boards and city leaders.  We are wondering where this money is going.  Governor Perry, do you realize  the more teachers that are cut, the less we remain a village of teachers and the  less we are able to change the lives of our students.  Where are you when they are standing outside of a school where to doors will soon be locked forever?
 
You have children of your own who probably had great teachers. 

  I am disappointed with your choices as you failed to provide adequate assurances that the money for our institutions would be used properly.
 This is not hate mail and I write you in all respect.  On behalf of Austin ISD and all schools in Austin, including Charter Institutions, we ask that you help us get our jobs back and allow us to lead and influence.  Do not let fiscal issues be the reason for closed institutions and less educators.  We voted for you and we believed that you would support us all the way.  This generation needs us.  Greatly.  We know what you can do for us. We know how you can help us.  

 Remember this when you lay your head down at night:  without teachers, there is no future.
Thank you.


Ugh, why can't we pay our schools with cupcakes? Then we wouldn't have to cut anybody.  Is the education system becoming... not so sweet??
Picture courtesy Google Pics - The OC.News

Phone Check 1,2,3

We all do it... or do we all?
     Today's generation has awakened the world of communication through cell phones, e-mail, and social networks.  When it comes to dating,  we have discovered avenues of convienent communication. That's right. Text messaging.  Wikipedias definition of text messaging is this : The exchange of brief written messages between fixed-line phone or mobile phone and fixed or portable devices over a network.  Our definition might be: The simple, easy way to say hello without speaking over someone, being disconnected, repeating ones self and filling long pauses with inappropriate laughter.   No?
   
  The dating world is dangerously, intensely, fiercely interesting.   We keep our phones close to our bodies and our inboxes clear of anything that might interfere with a message from our knights and damsels.  God forbid your cell phone be set to vibrate.  A strange occurance of phantom vibrations excite us for a moment, until realizing it was nothing. Nobody.  Just a screen with today's date and time.  We experince selective hearing-as if every phone that rings, beeps, chirps or plays a funky fresh Vanilla Ice song has to be, must be, should be ours. 
  
   I have a friend that I have known since college.  She sat next to me in my Learn, Play and Creativity class.  She had me at " I'm going to Sonic, want a Dr. Pepper?"   She's a brown-eyed, cuss like a sailor, skeet shootin, deer huntin, coyote skinnin, belt buckle wearin cowgirl that would bring Billy the Kid to his knees.  Last Saturday, I had the pleasure of spending the day with my long lost friend.  We both became teachers shortly after we graduated college.  We went our seperate ways and we lost touch for about a year.  However, when we both understood how to navigate Facebook, we were virtually and happily reunited.
   
   We began our "girls day" adventure devouring thick, mouthwatering, drool inducing juicy cheeseburgers.  Yes, drool inducing.  Yes, juicy.  We had good discussion, swapping classroom horror stories and boasting about our student's accomplishments and accolades.  However, we seemed to be interrupted by her touch screen companion.  No, it wasn't ringing or buzzing or vibrating or.. even lighting up.  Stroking her finger across the screen lead her to "no new message" and "no new calls" boulevard.
  
     I couldn't help notice how many times she was checking her phone.  My phone was buried deep down in the abyss  of my purse, accidently turned off by my lipgloss case or was probably being punctured by my fifty "Teachers Change Lives" pens.  I already knew.  She was seeing someone.  This "someone" hadn't been brought up yet.  So, I did the inexorable.  I asked her who "he" was.   She looked at me with a confused, I totally don't want to talk about it kind of look.  She shook her head and said it was nobody. 
 
  Yeah. Right.


   After twisting her arm to dish me the juice, she went on to tell me about a guy she has been talking to.  She met him a few weeks back and after two dates,  his communication skills have, well, not been so hot.  Mind you, she was still checking her phone as she leaked  her soul about this Mr. Nobody that meant something to somebody-her.  After listening to her woes about him not calling or texting, I responded with what I thought any other friend would say " so, why don't you text him??".  I thought her ranch dressing was going to boil over from her reaction.  " I'm not texting him. Nooo way.  I will seem desperate and needy.  Nope. No.   
  
  I listened to her go on and on about how we are not to chase men.  No matter how bad we wanted to hear their voices, we must be strong and hold out for the first text or phone call of the day.  She blurted out theories, quotes from books and her own philosophy about men and their relationship skills.  I sat there, sipping my Boston Iced Tea and wishing I had a fresh side of sour cream for my potato skins.
  
   I was listening and cringing at the thought that some women think we  shouldn't have a voice in the dating world, that we should sit back and wait for the man to make the first move, to say the first words and to decide when it's best to talk.  I was hoping she wouldn't ask for my opinion.  Then it happened.  Taking the last bite of her burger and wiping her fingers with a wetnap she asked:  "Well, tell me what you think.  Whats your advice?"       
    
 Deep breath. 
 
  This reminded me of a Sex and the City episode where Carrie said "When men attempt bold gestures, generally it's considered romantic. When women do it, it's often considered desperate of psycho."  Good thing Carrie was a  woman who  threw that theory out the window once she met Mr. Big. Taking risks is like walking on eggshells in the dating world.  A few years back I read this book called "The Rules".  I believed it.  I stuck to the rules when I was dating.  However, I realized that I have been betrayed by the philosophy of another woman who believed dating is just a game to be played only by women, where the men start off with a losing streak, having to work their way up to a win, meaning, our hearts.  Although I believed she may have had good intensions in some areas, I wanted to call.  I wanted to text.  I wanted to set up dates and see the persone I was dating.  I wanted a voice. 
  
  I say screw the rules. Call him, text him, let him know your still there and your on the prowl. If he doesn't respond, don't go running to your "He's Just Not That In To You" book and find the reason of this tragedy that best "fits" you. There's nothing wrong with YOU. Snap on your batgirl belt with new tools and a fresh coat of lipgloss and move on.  She asked me today why men are idiots. I thought for a moment, and giggled to myself. I don't believe men are idiots, or dogs, or from mars. Men are amazing creatures. However, they have been known to lack in the love factory. But so have we. Our problem is, we might be spending our time worrying too much about whose has what role in the relationship. 
    
    All of these thoughts consume us that we forget to love at all.  We all like to think we are in control when dating.  It's okay to be in control as long as we are not abusing it.  Lets be real for a minute, sures ome men like a chase and some men like to be chased.  To each their own right? If your into that kind of dating.  As women stop wasting their valuable, beautiful time with "the rules" and dirty games, men are still in the background waiting for a text, waiting for a next move.  Did we ever stop to think that maybe men feel the same way?  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not giving men all the credit.  However, we have to be fair. Sure, some men are just plain jerks but, feed them to the wolves- a pack of women who follow "the rules", where love is nowhere to be found. 
 
  When we step it up a notch, men take to it. A women's intiminations and ndependence are thriving in the dating world today.  Woman are the recipe of love, men are yummy ingredients.  Have a voice.  It's beautiful.

Be a lioness.... and eat a cupcake :)