And the World Turned

He was her almost lover.

 

Girl stood on the rocks with the water at her feet
the sun on her skin and a tear on her cheek
With her hand on her chest and the wind in her hair
Underneath her breath like a beggar's prayer ..

she said

I miss you, come back to me
I wish you'd come back to me

But nobody heard
And the world turned and the world turned and the world turned

And thats when the girl reached in her pocket
pulled out a silver heart-shaped locket
Opened it up and stared for a while at her faded boy
with a lazy smile

I miss you, come back to me
I wish you'd come back to me

But nobody heard
And the world turned and the world turned and the world turned

 she tossed the locket
In the cool, blue, water

That night in her bed, she let herself weep
She let herself cry herself to sleep
And there in a dream somewhere in the night
Saw the boy and the locket by the riverside, saying

I miss you, come back to me
I wish you'd come back to me

But nobody heard
And the world turned and the world turned and the world turned

- Gabe Dixon Band

Howl at the Moon

  Except.... there was no moon.

   I have finally potty trained my dog.  After one year, three hundred potty pads and four bottles of carpet cleaners, I have my dog on a scheduled bathroom routine.  First walk begins at 6:00am.  It took me a whole year to fight the temptations of my snuggly bed to get my lazy ass up and walk my dog before work.  Even my dog would rather settle for the potty pad instead of having to stretch her way from the warm abiss of my comfortor.  This is the time she chooses to take the longest to do her business.  She gets so distracted by smells and different noises.  Right when she is about to assume the potty position, a leaf will fall from a tree or a bird will chirp and there she goes chasing after it. Ugh.
  
   The day had finished and it was about 7:45pm.  The sun had just finished bestowing it's pink and purple colors on the rolling hills of where I live.  I took my dog to the usual spot where she likes to roam and run free.  After being in the house all day, I imagine wanting to do the same thing.  It was dark.  I stood there, in my snuggly PJ's and flip flops in hopes of a successful potty routine but instead I found myself frozen, unable to move and fearing for... my dogs life. 

 Usually my dog isn't quiet during our walks or potty breaks.  She likes to dig, scratch at the grass and yelp with joy. I happened to have my eyes fixed on this woman who was smoking three cigarettes at one time on her patio.  I wasn't paying attention to my dog because I was in total shock of how this woman was relieving her stress.  Three cigs? Really?  I snapped out of my disgust when I realized I couldn't hear my dog.  I turned to see her sitting at the bottom of the hill, sitting up strait, ears up and tail wagging.  She was faintly growling and slightly wining.  I thought maybe she had seen a rabbit or some kind of bug until my eyes adjusted to the darkness. I felt my heart drop to my toes.  Sweat flooded my hands.  There stood a black coyote.  Its tail was low and it had slowly lowered its body in the pounce position.  I could see the green in its eyes from the reflections. It wasn't looking at me.  It was looking at my dog.

  All my energy had left my body.  I had no voice to call for my dog.  Snippets of scenarios played through my head like a slideshow.  The coyote was concentrating on my dog, carefully studying her.  I could hear it begin to growl.  Usually my dog will see another dog or animal and make a run for it.  She is super friendly and loves attention.  She has no idea what fear is.  I was waiting for her to jump at it as if she wanted to let it know she wanted to play.  Her tail was still wagging.  However, she wasn't moving.  She wouldn't move.  I softly snapped my fingers in hopes to get her attention.  She wouldn't look at me.  They were playing the staring game.  It was almost as if my dog was saying " I dare you" to this hideous creature lurking in the bushes.

 I jingled her leash lightly and it seemed to get her attention.  She looked at me and then stood up.  Then the coyote stood up.  I knew this was it.  It was either going to be my dog, or me.  I stood there in total shock thinking of ways to get rid of this coyote.  I thought about all the shows I have seen about suriving wild animal attacks- pfft yeah, all that went out the window real fast.  Once fear sinks in to your blood, it pretty much takes over.  I was alone out there.  If I screamed, I would only scare it and then we would both be dinner.  All I could do was watch.  I was begging God to get this animal away from us. 

 There was a wrestling in the bushes a few minutes after the stare down.  I thought it was a pack of them, coming to finish us.  Thankfully, it was a small dear coming out for a little salt lick.  My dog saw the deer and made a run for it.  The only thing I could do was scream NO, NO.   I immediately looked over at the coyote and it was gone.  The deer must have scared it away.  Either that or it was coming for the deer later for ruining a perfect dinner.  I ran over to my dog, scooped her up and took her inside.  A phone call to my mother and few glasses of wine later I was feeling better.  What seemed like an hour was only about two minutes.  Fear has no time. I do believe I had my angels there with me that night.  I We were protected and I'm thankful.  Some people aren't so lucky.

Since then, we have found a safe place for us to run wild and free.  I also carry a really big, sharpened stick.  Will I know what to do with it if we are face to face with a wild animal again? Probable not.  You never know.
Words of wisdom- never let a person smoking three cigarettes at one time distract you from a seriously dangerous situation!!!

Out of the Mouths of Babes II

think each week I will post some of my favorite blurbs my students say to me.  Each day I throw myself back and laugh at some of the things that come out of their mouths.  I have one student who just floors me everytime.  I told him that he was going to be responsible for my best seller book of all the funny things he says to me.  He replied, " and I shall be your number one book buyer". 

Enjoy.
" It sure does smell good in here.  I think it's our teacher, always smelling like a cotton candy stand at a candy carnival"
" I watch Fox News, that's how I know it's winter"
" Why does my dad always curse at the gas pump?"
" So, since we are learning about dinosaurs, does that mean your our prey?"
" When I grow up, I want to be one of those people who always show their butt crack".
" I'm the only one in my family that snores.  I think its because I'm black".
" Shhhhh guys, the reason why Miss T is standing there like that with a T-Rex face is because we are wasting her time".
" Miss T, why do you sound like you have plugs up your nose? Are you sick? When my mom is sick, she says she's invisible and we can't see her".
" Not lacing again.  This really creates havoc on my joints"
" Yes!! I love creating patterns.  Miss T, your freckles make patterns"
"My dad ate my ice cream cone yesterday.  He told me it was poisonous".
"Whoa, dinosaur eggs are so big. Thats like... a year of scrambled eggs every morning".
" I need some hand scantipizer"
" Mom was right, I shouldn't have eatin that chili last night".
"When's lunch"
" Are we having spanish again today? If so, can you tell the teacher NOT to speak in tongues this time?"
" I think I just heard someone say shit.  My dad says shit is a grown up word.  Shit, I said it again".
" A dinosaur is a domestic animal in my eyes.  I can take of one. Duh"
" um, is this real meat?"

More to come. Out of the Mouths of Babes. Gotta cherish this.

Dear Rick Perry

Governor Perry,

    I am a teacher for a school located in the heart of Austin Texas.  Before you disregard this letter, I would like to send my appreciations for taking time to review my issue.  Fortunately, I have not been cut or laid off.  However, many of my colleagues have been or are about to be.  Please read this respectfully and with dignity.
   
   I am under the impression that you are convinced that education is the most important investment a state can make in its people.  Am I correct when I say that your goal is to ensure that Texas institutions of higher education are providing students the best chance at a better life?  What about when you mentioned the importance of focusing on the core themes of accountability, affordability, and accessibility?  I believed that you were for higher education and encouraging educators in preparing our learners for entry into our booming state economy.  We took your sugar coated words and took our passions into the classroom with a promise that teachers would be safe from the chopping block.  I fear that you are not understanding the uncomfortable impact you are putting on Texas educators.  What you are failing to realize, is that our students are the ones in danger.  No teachers.... no education.  
   
      Along with many educators, I am concerned with the sudden budget cuts and losses in our districts.  There are great educators walking on eggshells to keep their jobs as leaders of our great future leaders.  Teachers are being laid off due to low budgets and not enough money.  As teachers and as a community of educators, we want to believe that our institutions money is being used in a responsible manner by our boards and city leaders.  We are wondering where this money is going.  Governor Perry, do you realize  the more teachers that are cut, the less we remain a village of teachers and the  less we are able to change the lives of our students.  Where are you when they are standing outside of a school where to doors will soon be locked forever?
 
You have children of your own who probably had great teachers. 

  I am disappointed with your choices as you failed to provide adequate assurances that the money for our institutions would be used properly.
 This is not hate mail and I write you in all respect.  On behalf of Austin ISD and all schools in Austin, including Charter Institutions, we ask that you help us get our jobs back and allow us to lead and influence.  Do not let fiscal issues be the reason for closed institutions and less educators.  We voted for you and we believed that you would support us all the way.  This generation needs us.  Greatly.  We know what you can do for us. We know how you can help us.  

 Remember this when you lay your head down at night:  without teachers, there is no future.
Thank you.


Ugh, why can't we pay our schools with cupcakes? Then we wouldn't have to cut anybody.  Is the education system becoming... not so sweet??
Picture courtesy Google Pics - The OC.News

Phone Check 1,2,3

We all do it... or do we all?
     Today's generation has awakened the world of communication through cell phones, e-mail, and social networks.  When it comes to dating,  we have discovered avenues of convienent communication. That's right. Text messaging.  Wikipedias definition of text messaging is this : The exchange of brief written messages between fixed-line phone or mobile phone and fixed or portable devices over a network.  Our definition might be: The simple, easy way to say hello without speaking over someone, being disconnected, repeating ones self and filling long pauses with inappropriate laughter.   No?
   
  The dating world is dangerously, intensely, fiercely interesting.   We keep our phones close to our bodies and our inboxes clear of anything that might interfere with a message from our knights and damsels.  God forbid your cell phone be set to vibrate.  A strange occurance of phantom vibrations excite us for a moment, until realizing it was nothing. Nobody.  Just a screen with today's date and time.  We experince selective hearing-as if every phone that rings, beeps, chirps or plays a funky fresh Vanilla Ice song has to be, must be, should be ours. 
  
   I have a friend that I have known since college.  She sat next to me in my Learn, Play and Creativity class.  She had me at " I'm going to Sonic, want a Dr. Pepper?"   She's a brown-eyed, cuss like a sailor, skeet shootin, deer huntin, coyote skinnin, belt buckle wearin cowgirl that would bring Billy the Kid to his knees.  Last Saturday, I had the pleasure of spending the day with my long lost friend.  We both became teachers shortly after we graduated college.  We went our seperate ways and we lost touch for about a year.  However, when we both understood how to navigate Facebook, we were virtually and happily reunited.
   
   We began our "girls day" adventure devouring thick, mouthwatering, drool inducing juicy cheeseburgers.  Yes, drool inducing.  Yes, juicy.  We had good discussion, swapping classroom horror stories and boasting about our student's accomplishments and accolades.  However, we seemed to be interrupted by her touch screen companion.  No, it wasn't ringing or buzzing or vibrating or.. even lighting up.  Stroking her finger across the screen lead her to "no new message" and "no new calls" boulevard.
  
     I couldn't help notice how many times she was checking her phone.  My phone was buried deep down in the abyss  of my purse, accidently turned off by my lipgloss case or was probably being punctured by my fifty "Teachers Change Lives" pens.  I already knew.  She was seeing someone.  This "someone" hadn't been brought up yet.  So, I did the inexorable.  I asked her who "he" was.   She looked at me with a confused, I totally don't want to talk about it kind of look.  She shook her head and said it was nobody. 
 
  Yeah. Right.


   After twisting her arm to dish me the juice, she went on to tell me about a guy she has been talking to.  She met him a few weeks back and after two dates,  his communication skills have, well, not been so hot.  Mind you, she was still checking her phone as she leaked  her soul about this Mr. Nobody that meant something to somebody-her.  After listening to her woes about him not calling or texting, I responded with what I thought any other friend would say " so, why don't you text him??".  I thought her ranch dressing was going to boil over from her reaction.  " I'm not texting him. Nooo way.  I will seem desperate and needy.  Nope. No.   
  
  I listened to her go on and on about how we are not to chase men.  No matter how bad we wanted to hear their voices, we must be strong and hold out for the first text or phone call of the day.  She blurted out theories, quotes from books and her own philosophy about men and their relationship skills.  I sat there, sipping my Boston Iced Tea and wishing I had a fresh side of sour cream for my potato skins.
  
   I was listening and cringing at the thought that some women think we  shouldn't have a voice in the dating world, that we should sit back and wait for the man to make the first move, to say the first words and to decide when it's best to talk.  I was hoping she wouldn't ask for my opinion.  Then it happened.  Taking the last bite of her burger and wiping her fingers with a wetnap she asked:  "Well, tell me what you think.  Whats your advice?"       
    
 Deep breath. 
 
  This reminded me of a Sex and the City episode where Carrie said "When men attempt bold gestures, generally it's considered romantic. When women do it, it's often considered desperate of psycho."  Good thing Carrie was a  woman who  threw that theory out the window once she met Mr. Big. Taking risks is like walking on eggshells in the dating world.  A few years back I read this book called "The Rules".  I believed it.  I stuck to the rules when I was dating.  However, I realized that I have been betrayed by the philosophy of another woman who believed dating is just a game to be played only by women, where the men start off with a losing streak, having to work their way up to a win, meaning, our hearts.  Although I believed she may have had good intensions in some areas, I wanted to call.  I wanted to text.  I wanted to set up dates and see the persone I was dating.  I wanted a voice. 
  
  I say screw the rules. Call him, text him, let him know your still there and your on the prowl. If he doesn't respond, don't go running to your "He's Just Not That In To You" book and find the reason of this tragedy that best "fits" you. There's nothing wrong with YOU. Snap on your batgirl belt with new tools and a fresh coat of lipgloss and move on.  She asked me today why men are idiots. I thought for a moment, and giggled to myself. I don't believe men are idiots, or dogs, or from mars. Men are amazing creatures. However, they have been known to lack in the love factory. But so have we. Our problem is, we might be spending our time worrying too much about whose has what role in the relationship. 
    
    All of these thoughts consume us that we forget to love at all.  We all like to think we are in control when dating.  It's okay to be in control as long as we are not abusing it.  Lets be real for a minute, sures ome men like a chase and some men like to be chased.  To each their own right? If your into that kind of dating.  As women stop wasting their valuable, beautiful time with "the rules" and dirty games, men are still in the background waiting for a text, waiting for a next move.  Did we ever stop to think that maybe men feel the same way?  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not giving men all the credit.  However, we have to be fair. Sure, some men are just plain jerks but, feed them to the wolves- a pack of women who follow "the rules", where love is nowhere to be found. 
 
  When we step it up a notch, men take to it. A women's intiminations and ndependence are thriving in the dating world today.  Woman are the recipe of love, men are yummy ingredients.  Have a voice.  It's beautiful.

Be a lioness.... and eat a cupcake :)

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Being a teacher is amazing.  Humbling. Testing. Lovely.  Each day I hear the funniest, craziest, weirdest, preposterous, creative words come out of my student's mouths.  They say it with such emphasis, drama, all seriousness and joking.  It means something.  They make statements and demand feedback on how well they are doing on the art project of the day.  I am required to understand everything that pours from their ingenious souls.  I love it.
  
   In the teaching field, each educator has their own apple tree.  A tree so rich with knowledge and imagination.  A tree that stands tall and strong.  A tree that is strung with little minds ready to be shaken.  My tree always has the sweetest apples.

 Here are some of my favorite things that my student's have said.  Enjoy.
" Miss Thompson, when  are you gonna get rid of those humungous balloons in your shirt?"

" I can't say excuse me, if I farted on purpose"
Boy student talking to girl student- " Hey suga, why don't you plop that goodness here beside me, I'm a hero".

" I saw God today.  He was wearing yellow and He sang me a song"

"  We can't play superhero today because my mom is washing my superhero suit"

" Miss Thompson, are those OUR snacks your eating"?

" I will help you find a man so he can help you put that black stuff on your lashes and buy you pretty pens for your ponytails"

" Your a super freak, super freak... your super....... wait... what's the rest of the song Miss Thompson"

" Why does everyone keep saying Miss Mary Mack wore black, was she going to a funeral or somethin?"

" A shark is a domestic animal because it can live in your house and sleep in your bed.  They won't bite you, if you feed them and use moisturizing cream on them before bedtime"

" I have a question.. where do babies ACTUALLY come from.  My mom told me but, it just doesnt seem possible."

It's like, my days are full of cupcakes.

My Angry Conversation With God Part One

  Before I begin this mini series of my angry conversations with God, I wanted to let you know that I got the inspiration from the actual book My Angry Conversations With God.  I would go in to detail about the book but I figured you could check it out yourself.

  My responses were blurbs here and there during many nights of prayer.  I used God's responses as if how I could imagine Him saying to me. He has brought me far and I wanted to share this with you (whoever is listening). I hope you enjoy.
    
  When I was 12, I made the decision to become saved. My youth pastor assisted me down three slippery stairs and guided me towards the middle of the baptism tank.  I remember looking down and seeing people looking up at me.  I could see my mother and father sitting in the middle of the pews, anxiously awaiting my baptism.  I wore a long white robe that covered my feet.  The sleeves roofed my arms and hands.  I covered my little nose with my little hand and was gently bent back into the water.  It was a bit chilly but, my soul was cleansed. 
    
   I immediately began imagining all the angels celebrating in Heaven.  I envisioned God using a pink glittery pen as He signed my name in the Book of Life.  I wonder if He uses all capital letters when He writes people's names on those beautiful sheets of paper?  I was covered by the blood.  I was loved.  I had my one-way, only way ticket to eternity. 
     
   Years past and I began to forget about God.  I mean, I never forgot about Him, I would just put Him to the side whenever I needed Him.  I was always the "backseat driver" in our relationship, never wanting to be patient or still.  I thought if I took the wheel, I can steer my life in the direction I wanted it to go, where I thought it needed to go.  God never argued with me.  He would simply pull over, hop in the backseat and not say a word.  He didn't have to say anything at all.  I knew I would always steer us in the wrong direction.  Without His guidance, my compass never worked.  I was always lost.  Always in the dark and always hitting really hard speedbumps.  No wonder He would always buckle up.
 
     Seasons came and went as I flourished into an adult.  I finished college and went back and forth between hot and cold with my relationship with God.  After I finished my certification, I was having trouble finding a teaching position.  I would interview and interview and.. interview.  Nothing.  I didn't know what was going on.  I was educated.  My tests were taken and passed.  I nailed all the questions.  God, why am I not getting any calls??

    Then one night, in the darkness of my one bedroom apartment, with the moon illuminating my room, He spoke back to me.  It's like I could hear His voice.  I wanted to record my prayers in a journal and I used God's responses of  how I would hear Him if we were actually having a conversation.  This was a season of struggle for me. A season I was not prepared for.   This time, I wasn't driving.  I was told to buckle up and to be still. Quietly and quickly.

    Tuesday May 19, 2009
I'm sleepy tonight.  I can't write when I'm sleepy.  I can hardly finish a prayer.  However, I hear that it brings God joy to know that you are praying in peace, resting in Him.  I can't even think right now.  Lately,  I have felt drained from assiduous thoughts of getting this teaching job. Why can't I rest?

Me: Hello?? I'm talking to You up there.

God: I know.  I have not forgotten about you.  I want all of your trust and attention, not temporary trust and attention that I usually get from you.

Me: Sorry, I'm used to getting what I want, and fast.....wait, did You just speak to me??

God: Yes. I always speak to you.  You just don't want to listen.   I know you are restless.  Megan, show me patience.  You have asked me for it.  Show me you trust me to follow through on the promises I have made for you.

Me: It's hard.

God: Being patient for you to come back to me was hard. 

Me: Don't make me feel bad.

God: You don't like the truth, you never have.

Me: Depends. I guess.

God: What matters most, Megan, is that I love you and I am working hard behind this "window" you want
Me to open for you.  JUST BE STILL.

Me: Why are you yelling at me?

God: I'm not.  My voice is like thunder... remember?

Me: I see, now is not the time for jokes.

God: You are doing a good job of reading my love stories for you.

Me: Love stories? What?

God: Yes, Megan, love stories.. in the Bible?? Hellooooo?

Me: Ohh, yes.  They are very comforting.

God: Which is why I say "Rest in Me".  I know everything your heart desires.  I know everything you need.

Me: But I can't get comfortable knowing that I may be stuck in this hole for the rest of my life.

God:  ::sigh::  Here, I will open this wonderful window for you so that you may see what I am planning.  Just a peek.

Me: No, I don't want "just a peek", but, that breeze does feel good. I haven't had a breath of fresh air in a long time.

God: Stop letting satan suffocate you.  Remember, he fears Me and all you have to is call on me.  Breathe.  Go to bed. I will be up late planning great things for you.

Me: Alright. I'll leave the light on for You.

God: I am the light.

Me: Ok, show off.  I .. I love you.

God: I love you too.

Me: Um, God?

God: Yes..

Me: Will tomorrow be the day?  When I find out great things? 

God: You see great things everyday.  Just look for them.  Listen for my voice.

Me: Ok.

God: Goodnight my love.

Me: Goodnight.



To be continued......